Hi there!
Once we are going to have 3 new au pairs arriving in the next few months, I decided to post Tips to preparing for the new AU PAIR.
The following suggestions have been formatted for your preparation in hosting your new AU PAIR. The more you prepare, the less miscommunication and misunderstanding
happens. Please read the following:
1. Your new au pair will want to investigate your area during her free time. Call your local colleges and high schools, Parks and Recreation department, libraries and
YMCA to receive their schedule of activities. If you have all of this information in
advance, it will help keep the au pair busy during the first few months when
homesickness is the strongest!
2. Have your AU PAIR take a CPR/Child Safety class. Even if the au pair has taken this in their home country, this is always important information to review. Parents should also take this class. Everyone should know what to do in case of an emergency.
Most classes usually last 3 hours and are well worth the time! Call your local Red
Cross office or Local Area Representative for further information.
3. It is important right from the start to avoid misunderstandings. Clearly explain your “philosophy” and practices on childcare. Example: how to handle a temper tantrum, trips or daily schedules. We strongly recommend that you obtain some kind of
notebook or small memo pad where you can jot all of this information down. This
way the au pair has something to refer to if she encounters a problem during the
day and you are unavailable. These situations will happen, and no matter how
competent the au pair is, she will forget details in the beginning. WRITE IT ALL
DOWN! (The daily schedule, allergies, household rules, etc.) The more you write
down, the better off you are. It will take some time, but you can use this notebook
over and over again. Start this notebook before the au pair arrives. If there is a
concern, the first question your local representative will ask is, “How long did you
spend training your au pair and do you have a notebook where things are stated
clearly?”
4. In this notebook, you may also want to keep track of the hours your AU PAIR works.
Working too many hours is a common complaint of au pairs. The more you keep
track of everything in writing, the less miscommunication will occur and there will be fewer questions. Remember, if there is a concern, the LAR will have to hear both sides of the story. The more evidence you have, i.e., schedule, etc., the faster the local representative can help to straighten
out the problem. Please speak to your Local Area Representative in depth about
your schedule. They will be able to help determine if the hours exceed the
maximum of 45, and if some other schedule arrangement is necessary.
5. Set aside the first few days after your AU PAIR arrives to let her get acclimated and recover from jet lag. Once the au pair is rested and ready, spend at least one week walking the au pair through your routine, as well as your local neighborhood. Be
patient, communicate constantly, and give lots of feedback. Let the au pair spend
some relaxed time with the children. The first few weeks will be an adjustment for
everyone.
6. In the beginning it may be wise to write down your concerns over specific instances. These issues, of course, are minor concerns that can wait a few days. Example:how to answer the telephone. Sit down with your au pair and go over what is
working well and what needs improvement. When discussing problems, try to find
some positive points on which to compliment your au pair. Problems of greater
importance, like child safety, should be discussed immediately. It may be wise to
wait a moment while you calm down before confronting the au pair. It is also a good
idea to have both parents talk to the au pair, as it reinforces the seriousness of the concern.
7. Sit down and devise a discipline code for your AU PAIR . This is IMPERATIVE to a
successful relationship between the au pair and your child. No child is angelic all of the time. There should be a time-out chair or discipline system for the au pair to
follow. Children should be aware of the consequences of misbehaving during time
spent with the au pair. Consistency is mandatory for both the au pair and parents
when disciplining children. Be sure you specifically discuss with the au pair how you
want and don’t want your child disciplined. Hitting is common in many European
countries. If you do not agree with this, make it clear to your au pair how you want
your children handled. This is a good topic to discuss with the au pairs as you are
doing initial interview calls as well.
8. If you are planning a vacation and want to take you AU PAIR, make it clear to the au pair in advance of your plans. Will they be working on this vacation? Make these
important points clear. If you do not want to take your au pair with you on vacation,
make this clear as well, as soon as you decide. Figure out if they are to take this
time as their vacation or do you want to pay them their week’s allowance? The
choice is up to you, just be sure to make you plans very clear. Be considerate and
give the au pair as much notice as possible so she can make adequate plans. This
is another good issue to discuss during the interview with potential AU PAIR.
9. It is a good idea to set a curfew during the workweek. This way you know your au
pair is well rested and can work well with your children the next day. Set this in
advance before the au pair arrives and discuss it during interviewing so that there
are no surprises. Once the au pair arrives and you are comfortable and find her
reliable, you can always change your rules or curfew, but start with lots of rules
FIRST. During the au pairs free weekend and days off we do not recommend any
type of curfew. This is their free time, but it is a good idea to know whom she is with and where she is going.
10.Visitors are another issue. Do you mind if a boyfriend or friend stays overnight? Set your rules before the au pair arrives! Many times people will visit from the au pair’s home country, such as parents, friends, or boyfriends. Do you mind a visitor in your house for 2 weeks? a night? Set your standards and let your au pair know what is possible and what is not. Do you want to be asked, notified, or is everything ok?
Discuss this during your interview if possible, again so there are no surprises. Write all of this information down as part of your household rules.
11.Smoking is an issue. Even if the au pair says he/she is a non-smoker, definitely ask about it in the interview. If you are against smoking, make this very clear in your interview. Set your rules in advance regarding visiting friends. Can they smoke in the house? Certain designated areas? Write all of this information down as part of
your household rules.
12.Make sure you have written clearly all emergency numbers that the au pair will need. Make sure that these numbers are updated and legible. You should go over all of
these numbers with the au pair. Also, explain how you would like the telephone
answered and how you would like your messages to be taken.
13. It is a good idea to get a bulletin or corkboard to hang in the au pair’s room, or another room that you use often. Hang your schedule and upcoming events here,
as well as any other important information.
14.Label all medicines if the children take them. Go through how appliances and
machinery in your home work, especially washing machines and child safety
gadgets. Many European countries have different machines and gadgets and the au
pair will not know how to use them. Discuss household products and different foods
as well.
15.Your child may have strange pet names for toys or people. Make sure you go over
these differences in vocabulary with the au pair.
16.Europeans use the metric system. It is a good idea to find a conversion chart and
put it in the kitchen if the au pair is expected to cook.
17.Communicate constantly, especially in the beginning. Act as if the au pair knows
nothing. Being specific will eliminate miscommunication. If the au pair is quiet,
constantly ask if she is comfortable, if she has any questions, if she understands
you. There is nothing wrong in being persistent; these are your children.
Communication is the key to a good relationship. If there is a concern, there is a
great possibility that it involves communication, meaning, miscommunication, or not
enough communication. Keep this in mind during the first few weeks.
18.Car insurance – On the contract that you received from the Salt Lake office, there is a section about car accidents. If your au pair will be using your car and is involved in an accident, the au pair can pair can only be required to pay a maximum of $500.00 towards repairing the car. Please think about this beforehand and complete this section of the contract before you and the au pair sign it. How much do you think is feasible in case of an accident?
19.Make sure you review all exits and emergency routes in your home. Go over with
your AU PAIR. how to get the children out of the house in case of a fire or other
emergency. It is also a good idea to have a meeting place outside of the house
where all family members will meet in case the house is evacuated. Where should
the au pair take the children in case of a tornado or hurricane? It is also quite
common for new au pairs to get locked out once in a while, so be prepared.
20.Social Security Number – Once your AU PAIR arrives, it is wise to make a trip the first week of her arrival to get a temporary social security number. If your au pair obtains this number, she should not have any problems registering at a school and may
save some money with out-of-state charges. The temporary social security number
is good for one year and can be obtained at your local social security office. A
sponsorship letter can be obtained from your Local Area Representative.
By implementing these suggestions, chances are that you will have a successful and
memorable year with your au pair. Host families need to do some homework in
planning and training in order to have a good year and a great relationship. A live-in au pair is a give-and-take situation. There will be cultural differences and compromises. The more serious you are in planning before your au pair arrives, the fewer differences you will have along the way. Good Luck!
IF YOU WANNA HAVE MORE INFORMATION GO TO goAUPAIR
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
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