Household Rules-Tips for living with an Au Pair/host family

Hello!
Hope you guys are enjoying the weekend!

Today, I would like to talk a little bit about living with an AU PAIR . I was an au pair and now as a LAR, I really do know the importance of communication and creating some rules, that can avoid a lot of problems!

Prior to au pair arrival, both parts should communicate and talk about living situations, as au pairs and host families usually share different cultures, there would be shock of cultures and we don't need to make them a big deal! Differences of cultures can be actually fun!

I remember heappening with me on time: I come from Brazil and there, kids can have as many cookies and sugar as they want, here in the US, sugar for kids is really controled, so, if my host mom at the time didn't tell me about their diet, I would probably be giving the kids cookies and that could cause problems. The same with other food, because one of the kids were allergic to many things. So, see what I am talking about it?

Host families and au pairs: Don't be shy to ask as many questions as you want, even if you think it's silly! It's important and I encourage that. Try to learn more of each other, routines, preferences and hobbies, because you guys gonna be living together and sharing a lot!

Think about your lifestyle, what makes you comfortable and uncomfortable. Remember
past visitors or household members…what issues arose during their stay? What did
they do or not do that irritated you? That pleased you? Made things easier for you?
Commit your family ground rules to paper. Think about table manners, snacking,
personal hygiene, chores, telephone use and message taking, dealing with
disagreements, emotional upsets, etc.

a. Are certain topics forbidden at certain times or in front of the children?
b. How do you feel about smoking and drinking? In your home and elsewhere?
c. Are there limits on the use of television and stereo equipment? On noise
levels?

These are rules that apply to all persons in your household – you, your children, guests,
au pairs, visitors, and relatives. Write down your unwritten rules!

What guidelines are there for your au pair’s use of your home (and hers) in entertaining
friends during her free time?

a. Limits on numbers of people, where she should entertain them, how late, gender of
overnight guests?
b. Should she supply the refreshments or use your supplies?
c. Do you need advance notice or permission?
d. Can she have friends over while she is “working”? How long, who, when?
What are the rules for use of the car?
a. Must she ask each time or is it available for her to drive at certain times?
b. Are there limits on its use?
c. Can she drive into the city? (or out of the suburbs?)
d. Can the car be in the city past two a.m.?
e. Can she go outside of the metropolitan area?
f. Must she put in gas? If so, weekly, nightly, monthly?
g. Must she keep track of her miles?
h. Can she drive other people?
i. Are there special rules for when she is driving your children? Can she take them to
visit other au pairs and their charges?
What is the preferred form of discipline to use with your children?
a. Do they get time-outs, corner time, etc.?
b. What behaviors should she encourage and develop in your children?
c. Do your children have set schedules and routines you want maintained?
d. What are rules for television viewing by your children?
e. What are rules for television viewing by the au pair while “on duty”?
f. What amount of supervision do your children require in the house? In the yard?
g. Can your children go elsewhere to play? Under what conditions and restrictions?

What are the rules for use of the telephone? For the au pair? For your children?
a. Are there time limits?
b. Do you have more than one line, and are there restrictions on the use of either?
c. What about call waiting?
d. Explain any calling packages that you have. European service and billing is vastly
different.
e. Discuss emergency calls. Provide phone numbers for police, fire, doctors, hospitals,
and work numbers.

List of tasks and duties
a. Is she to get the children up, dressed, bathed, and fed in the morning?
b. Is there a timetable?
c. Must she be dressed and ready at a certain time herself?
d. Are there set morning routines?
e. Does she prepare lunches to take to school?
f. Is there a car pool? Who are the other drivers?
g. Is timeliness important?
h. What kind of breakfast do you want your children to eat?
i. What kind of lunches should be prepared?
j. What happens when the children don’t eat?
k. When and what types of snacks are to be offered?
l. Do the children have a set schedule?
m. How much and what kinds of television may they watch?
n. Is there an arts & crafts time set aside?
o. Do you want her to teach them to count in her language or sing nursery rhymes from
her homeland?
p. Are there therapies or exercises she must assist the children with?
q. Is she to read to them for a set time period each day?
r. Can they use crayons, clay, paints, etc.? Is she to take them to classes and attend
with them?
s. Should the children make their own beds?
t. When are their rooms to be picked up and by whom?
Clothing
a. Who chooses the clothes the children wear?
b. Must they be color coordinated?
c. Must socks match?
d. Can the children stay in their pajamas?
e. How often must diapers be changed or the child taken to the potty?
f. Who does the children’s laundry?
g. How often is it done?
h. Who polishes the shoes and mends the clothes?

Activities
a. Are there activities the au pair must drive the children to?
b. Does she stay there with them?
c. Must she walk the child to the room, or drop him/her off at the building?
d. Can younger children be left in the car or must they come along?
e. Are there any playgroups?
f. Can she form a playgroup with other au pairs or caregivers?
Outings
a. What kind of outings can she take the children on and when?
b. What limitations or restrictions are there?
c. What public parks or tot lots are safe and age-appropriate?
d. Is there a library story hour?
e. Do you have a museum or zoo pass?
f. What about toddle gym, swim lessons, or music classes?
g. Do you have a bicycle with a child safety seat for the au pair’s use?

Schedule
Schedule your au pair’s 45 hours (or less) per week in ADVANCE! When she arrives,
give her a written schedule for the first two weeks, thereafter, at least one week in
advance. Let her know what your dinner hours are and what family activities you have
planned. Designate her complete weekend off at the beginning of each month. Discuss
vacations, yours and hers, and schedule them. Schedule regular meetings with your au
pair to keep communication flowing. A short weekly meeting can provide a nonconfrontational
way to resolve small differences and keep channels of communication
open. Children can be included or excluded. When there is an at-home parent, written
schedules are absolutely essential so that both parties understand when the au pair is
on or off duty. Block out the time needed for the au pair while on duty or off. Block out
the time needed for the au pair to get to and attend the class she has enrolled in, and do NOT ask her to miss it or go late.

If you wanna know more about hosting an au pair go to:goAUPAIR